Through the eyes of my “maybe soulmate”.
You’re the most amazing person I’ve met ‘, was his next message.
I tried to take it in for a while, before anxiety, doubt and questions took over. My mind was racing to point out all the things that made me not amazing, and I while I believed his claim to an extent my mind pushed me to confirm what he said.
I think he took it well and went ahead to explain what he meant by what he said. I believed him. It was just very abrupt and interesting to hear, like me Ekabosowo Etta Takon , most amazing person you’ve met ? Whewww. Thanks .
Let’s call him AMST.
How did we meet ?
Instagram.
Not the way you’d have expected, but yes that’s how we met. He wanted to buy something off my business page on instagram, and I believe he chose to call because he needed the product urgently.
The first one or two times he called me, I literally watched the phone ring as his number graced my screen. I wasn’t going to be pranked again, so I didn’t pickup.
He called again , and I picked. He spoke softly about the missed calls, as I explained why I didn’t pick up earlier.
Someone pranked me with a business deal earlier on and I was still feeling haunted by it, I told him.
He understood, and calmly empathized with me about the situation and told me a bit about running a business.
Mmmmm, I went to look at his picture on WhatsApp. Not bad ‘, I thought. His voice was well textured and the nice keep of baritone, but I had to keep myself in check.
He placed his order; an express order that meant I had to deliver it myself. Whew, okay let’s do this. I got done with the product and went over to deliver it.
His office was on a quiet street close to Eko hotel and Adeola Odeku , a.k.a Zenith bank roundabout. He worked for tv company, in a post I have now forgotten.
The office was homely, and welcoming. The graffiti board just beside the stairs was a sight to behold. I was led upstairs to a massive room that screamed technology and creativity at the same time.
He came out. Mmm. First thing I noticed was that he was photogenic, hence he was slightly less catchy in reality, and he wasn’t so tall, but aside those two things , he was good to go.
As he talked about his workplace , his job , and his business , he went on and on about how artsy I looked.
Clad in a black and cream slightly fitted lace dress , a big hoop earring , slightly dyed low cut, tote bag and a pair of simple slippers/sandals, I was oblivious to the fact that I looked artsy.
A few minutes after, we were safely tucked behind a table in the cafe opposite his office, him admiring me , and talking about life , me sipping at the awfully amazing milkshake as I converse with him and took the environment with in, watching the young girls at one corner of the coffee shop that had just come in for lunch , and older people at another angle arranging for a meeting or an occasion.
We talked about careers and occupations.
I’m going into tech’, he blurted out, I studied economics/accounting for my dad, now I’ve started working towards diving into tech completely.
I want to be an illustrator ‘, I said . It was probably the first time I had said that out to somebody.
Oh that’s a good one, I’m sure you’ll thrive in it. You’re so good with colors and you’re artsy.
We talked some more about business , life and all things inbetween , picked my brain about content design and strategies before we went our separate ways.
It is one of those day I wish I framed up keep on the highest shelf somewhere only me can get to.
Two people from finance/business/social science background, moving into completely foreign territory and talking causally about it over a glass of milkshake.
After that we talked on the phone, back and forth. I tried to control myself from catching feelings because I felt he wasn’t totally my spec, but his voice. Eissshhh.
Seeing each other was hard, almost impossible, because he worked on the island and lived in the mainland, for me, the reverse was the case.
Hence, our next visit was a few months after we met, the location was an ice cream shop. It was children’s day , because I remember watching children get their faces painted while we talking and bantered over our ice cream. That was the last time I saw him.
The next time I was meant to see him was impossible, as I was dealing with unprocessed personal and family trauma, it was something I could have told him about, something he would have understood in a blink of an eye, but I just couldn’t at that time. It was fresh and new, so I told him I couldn’t see him that day, and he felt I wasn’t interested in seeing him.
The back and forth spaced out, I moved to another city for a while and we talked less, and then a new year came and he invited me for a church program. I think for some reason, I felt closer to him. It was his home church and we were going to see, so I was somewhat thrilled. Maybe another chance to see what’s up.
Guess what ? He had an impromptu meeting in Abuja that day, so I attended the program and couldn’t see him. Sad . Very sad. I loved the program though, being in his church made me feel like I knew him a bit better. That same month, I got a job that kept me strictly on the island, and nowhere close to his office.
We planned to see, this time we were both going to be available, then a while before that he disappeared. No way to contact him or get through to him. The day of the meeting, nothing happened.
Then came the pandemic .
Then came his reach out.
He was already settled in the U.S, and already had a girlfriend. We had a lengthy conversation about life as I held my emotions back. I was happy for him. I looked at his pictures ; the one he sent me and his profile picture. He seemed happy , content.
You’re still the most amazing person I ever met, I wish we had more time.
This story , my personal experience is one that gives me hope. It’s just one of the experiences I’ve encountered that prevents me from settling.
I’m not of the believe that there is just “one” person for you or me, although there was a time in my life I believed that.
However, I believe that you can always find your person. Through this experience AMST made me believe in vulnerability again. He made me learn to slowly allow myself feel things with am without my guards up.
It helped me understand feelings , emotions and everything in between to a great extent. For a weird reason it taught me a lot about love. From this experience I’ve learnt that love can come in many forms and can last for a year or forever, but however it is it’s important to appreciate the love you experienced and forge ahead.
Finally I learnt that love is acceptance and moving on. AMST and I still talk, I’m genuinely happy for him even though from time to time I have “what if” thoughts. Am I moving on yes ? Have I accepted it ? Yes . Sometimes that’s the best you can do for people you love .
Love is in the simple things, someone asking you what you think about the tiniest bit of things , listening to you or just remembering things you case about .
So breathe and embrace love .
Till next time .
Find love in the simple things.
