The Gifted Curse — And The Great Realization.
Thinking your gifts are a curse is the first step to realizing the goldmine deposited in you. — Ekab Takon, 2022.
This should be one of those articles that would start a certain way and end a certain way, but thankfully it isn’t. “ For most of my adult life I have felt different, and I couldn’t figure out what made me feel that way till now”.
For most of my life I always did “normal things” — usual things anyone my age would do, and I thought, believed, and hoped that I’ll keep being the “normal” child I was meant to be — and follow the set path in life my accounting degree would offer. But life had other plans.
Everything was pretty normal until I graduated from university — it was like my whole life crumbled — identity crisis you might think? No worse off — I was clueless about myself. I felt lost and confused.
I’ve heard a good number of stories that are similar to this — most of which happened after finishing university — but mine is personal to me and it nearly swallowed me up.
BATTLING MYSELF
Leaving school, I had three major options — start my accounting career, further my studies, or build my fashion empire. Everyone that knew me would have sworn that I was going to focus on my fashion empire — that I was going to build to my heart's desire. Even I thought that was what I was going to do — boy was I wrong.
A short while after focusing on fashion, I quickly lost interest. Don’t get me wrong I still loved fashion, sewing, and creating new things — but the thrill of being “that fashion designer” I envisioned had faded away.
THEN ALL THE OTHERS FOLLOWED
After my fashion design business interest dwindled, I found something else interesting to do, then something else, then another thing. Like a wayward and directionless young woman — I allowed the winds of the world to drag in different directions. A curse? Maybe, just maybe.
Then I finally found myself in a job that gave me a large amount of the satisfaction my heart craved. There wasn’t so much monetary gain there but — it helped me develop in ways that my brain yearned for.
A BLESSED CURSE?
Till today, I’m still in that line of work — I’m definitely switching out soon for good, but I often pride myself in the fact that I remained consistent here — even when there were other side attractions.
For the longest time, I felt like being multi-passionate and talented was a curse that spread me way too thin for my liking.
I compared myself with everyone else — but the woman that I wanted to become — the woman God has destined me to be. I looked everywhere for help but within and above.
I wanted to be normal so bad — the “Ekab” that focused on one thing — and one thing only, and even when I heard God telling me to remember the parable of the talents — I still felt like I was dealt a very bad hand.
How on earth was I meant to nurture all my talents — and die empty as I’ve always wanted to?
I use to say and still say “sometimes having all these talents and interests feels like a curse and a blessing at the same time.
One thing that has changed and is still changing for me — is that I’m finally learning to allow the person that gave me all the gifts and talents to lead me on the path that he’ll have me tread — pain and beauty all the way.
It’s been hard — like really hard lol, but I’d definitely do it again if I had the choice. So far, I have met amazing people, built my self-confidence, and feel way more fulfilled than I did when I had to work my accounting job crunching numbers and fighting sleep all day long.
My message to you would be to allow yourself to express God’s gift(s), and even the ones you’ve had to learn over time. It might be chaotic at the beginning — but let yourself. You’ll be glad you did when things start piecing themselves together.
** Okayyy , going to update my portfolio now. Lol.
