From battling malaria/Covid-19 to enduring joblessnesses for 4 months, 2021 came with it’s own ups and downs. The kind that boosted my self confidence, as well as pushed me to seek out my own vulnerabilities as well as embrace my own person, “Ekab the Creative”.
My year started with me quitting my job in January, going on a life changing camp in that same January and becoming jobless for four months and.
On being jobless
Nothing felt as dreadful as those weeks and days I spent thinking of the next project to embark on, what jobs I should or shouldn’t apply for, and when I was going to find that ray of sunshine. From taking courses to basking in my newly found love “upcycling”, being jobless had a way of draining the hope from me. Thankfully, things turned out well.
On finding self-confidence
One of the last conversations I had with my previous employer before finally severing ties with his organization was about me leaving my comfort zone. I remember that though pondered in my mind, but I somehow felt very trapped. I knew I needed to go somewhere I had a little less backup that I had in my parents’ house, but where would I had gone to ? Luckily, my present job dragged me a long way away from home, and away from my comfort zone. Countless times prior to this period of my rise in “self-confidence “, several people who had noticed my lack of confidence had a lot of positives to say about my skills and talents and a lot of negatives about my self-confidence.
Oftentimes times I paused and pondered about why I was so unsure of myself, why I was so scared of basking in my own gifts and achievements, why I was so timid and afraid to put myself out their. I believe that leaving my comfort zone, as well as my conscious effort to be more self-aware put me in a better light.
On friendships & relationships
This year came with it’s own jibi jaba, but we what? We meuveeee. This year I made a conscious effort to do away toxic friendships & entanglements in the most gracious way ever. No I did not ghost anyone , as far as I can remember . I told them how they made me feel in the most articulate way possible, and severed ties with them as needed. This is a part of this year I’m very proud and grateful for.
I don’t think I got over the shock of the job interview of my present job until a long while after, maybe a few weeks after. Being only one year old in the tech-content world, I wasn’t exactly sure that leading a team was something I could do, coupled with my lack of self-confidence, I came into work on many days acting like a regular staff, until I realized that there were decisions to be made or deadlines to be met. Whew. Ekab, you’re now a leader .🌚🥺.
Eventually, somebody say eventually, I had to take everything in, especially because I had to lead, and even though I won’t call myself a stern leader, I somehow knew that I had to get things done somehow. I had to make sure that we got the work done without treading on anyone’s rights or at the stake of anybody’s emotional health.
On the other things
I got more consistent with my art, I self- published my first book, might be riddled with a lot of errors, but I’m grateful for that. I got more consistent with my health and exercising. In general I became more consistent. Period. Kudos Ekab.
As this year comes to an end, I’ve learnt a lot about life, and thankfully grieved a lot less. I have led people the way I’ll love to be led, and in a nutshell, proud of the woman, and leader o have become.
As a HSP, I have learnt to make both difficult and simple decisions without being over emotional about them “which is exceedingly hard”.
I have learnt to pick my battles and accept things I cannot change.
I have learnt to focus and nurture on the special gifts and talents I’ve been given.
This year, I have embraced shamelessness.
For 2022, I intend to live more shamelessly, embrace my passion for upcycling and recycling and achieve goals for my loved ones that have gone before me, the ones whose dreams were cut short by death.
Today I dedicate 2022 to : Nosa Jnr, Yemi, Peter ,Dotun . To a year of shamelessness, money making and sweet memories 🍷.
Adios 2021 🙏🏾.