- Dear Abba ,
A daughter’s ramblings about her father.
Today, my father became a year older, and during one of our conversations today, the first in fact, I caught his wiping a tear from his eyes while he talked about his father. It was quickly followed by a light smile and it got me thinking “what about my father?”
My father, E.T Amba, the first accountant/chartered accountant to hail from our village was born into a royal family , yes , call me princess Ekab, but we’re real not going to dive into that today.
I can’t remember even a quarter about my childhood without remembering my father influence in everything I did. His presence , his love , his gifts , his attention, his guidance — just like we all needed it.
One of the memories from the first three years of my life that I can remember is playing a certain “jungle animal” game on his laptop. Oh, my father was big on those for us. “Computer games”.
My father, ever so the accountant was emotionally involved in the things we did — from listening to me ramble about my day after, a long day at work, to making sure we marked important events in our lives.
From the stories I know about his father, my grandfather I often marvel at how remarkably he , my father has performed as a father — something I greatly suspect was boosted by his relationship with God.
Never really one for overly lengthy conversations — especially without depth, and speaking only when necessary, my father , through his silence , pauses , and intentional communication has taught me the value of understanding and being understood.
He’d say : “well Ek, like in Stephen Covey’s book, the habit of “seek to understand before being understood “ — it’s important to communicate with that in mind .
Never have I caught my father being trapped in his own words — and even if anything was misunderstood, he’ll be happy to clear it up with humility and respect.
When I was younger, I never quite understood it. This man that had every reason to be proud. Worked a good job, was so well paid , had a family he could call his own, was more than comfortable. But he chose to be meek, something he always consistently backed up by the confession of his faith in Christ — a path I now so fiercely pursue.
Though he barely attended my school events, due to work, he found ways to make it up by spending time with us on holiday trips and weekend outings.
As a child , I found reading a great solace , a habit my father inculcated in us , and since we never really made any new friends after relocating — reading & computer games kept us indoors and occupied more times than not.
This way my father lowkey passed down his reserved nature down to us the children.
There are so many things to say about my father that won’t fit in a post or any letter I can ever write to him, and although a lot of things stand out, I’d be forever grateful for these:
- the gift of contentment ; my father taught us to be hungry for knowledge, ambition enough to carve an amazing path for yourself, but content enough to not get yourself in a rut.
- - The gift of silence; he knows when to speak and when/how to response. A gift that I’m glad to keep learning from.
- - The gift of financial literacy; my father would ever never shy away from financial literacy talk with the kids , from investment to savings he’ll preach the message loud and clear.
- - The gift of proactiveness ; my father has his whole life planned out , from years. down to hours . He also imbibed the culture of futuristic thinking in us.
- - The gift of integrity; never was there a time that I heard anything related to dishonesty associated with my father — and it’s a legacy I plan to carry on.
- - The gift of humility; you’d never catch him not humble
- - The gift of emotional intelligence, compassion & kindness — the man just knows what to say and how to approach things more times than not.
- - Finally the gift of faith — this sums it up.
As a daughter, I’ve never been so proud to watch my father grow into the man he is today. At his second retirement party, I was like a proud peacock because I mean — this man is a beacon.
If I were really to write a book I wonder how many times I’d mention my father. lol.
With that being said — thank you for coming this far with me .
All my love ,
E. 💕
