As we in stood front of “Jericho Mall” under the scorching sun, I’m sure in that moment I regretted my decision to wear the off white turtle neck top I wore, but I was more than satisfied with the blue jeans and brown fur mules I had chosen to accompany the top.
As cars wheezed by, and as we prepared to part ways, there and then, Dotun asked me to be his girlfriend.
I was taken aback because ,I hadn’t seen him in about two years, and within those two years, we barely talked or chatted, so I could only wonder were the thought came from.
I knew my answer already, and I tried to tell him there and then. Eventually, we agreed that I should think about it.
I had met Dotun the computer repair guy during my NYSC. He had helped me with my laptop troubles and also become an acquaintance. We had talked about a lot of things that mostly pertained to life. Mostly about his life.
Learning that he had eventually achieved lot of some goals we had talked about brought joy to my heart. It was like I won something priceless. I have no doubt in my mind that somethings I said to him or just the simple act of listening to him, gave him a bit of the courage he used to keep pushing.
Ever since I learned about my INFJ personality from the Briggs test, I began to understand the “why” behind my utter dislike for socializing, yet thriving in it whenever I got the chance. For example like in the case of Dotun and I.
Dotun, unlike many other traders and sales people I had dealt with in a similar manner, but on the milder side ,had manage to preserve the memories of me actually listening to him spill out his life story, his dreams and aspirations, and most especially cheer him on whenever I needed to.
Dotun was an okay guy, but most likely not my type. First of he is short, his mixed accent of Ibadan intonation and English was very unattractive.
Just thinking about things this way makes me feel like those girls in Nollywood movies that keep rejecting guys and end up sad and alone.
I would later go ahead to tell a male friend of mine, who insinuated that it was mostly about my body.
For one of the first times, I begged to differ, because I knew the kind of person Dotun was, it wasn’t about “body”, maybe partly it was, but it was more about the emotional aspect of things.
People stick closer to people they feel understand them and listen to them. I did both for Dotun, just because.
For that he created the romantic relationship in his head about us being a couple, while it was really just something that was normal for me.
As I thought about it later, I came to the conclusion that, a lot of people often get caught in this web.
People aren’t used to others doing what they should normally do, and because they’ve never being used to it, they form a strong bond that would most likely ends up in tears .
I’ve been there, I’ve been that person, so I understand.
As humans we’re prone to be more aggressive and unkind, ready to hurl curses and harsh words at anybody that offends us.
We often forget that just a single kind word to a person can go a long way.
I hope that we learn to do better, because the world needs better. We need to do more that we’ve been doing .